Skinny Jim

We inherited a dog to guard the house,
And we named him Skinny Jim.

But he's never outside for long,
Before he wheedles his way back in.  

We feed him tasty treats just to add a little fat,
And he wolfs down every little bit,
But he’s still as skinny as a rat.

Now he is a lovable little scamp and we do love him so,

But there is a limit to just how far that love can go.

For he sleeps on my side of the bed, 
With legs stretched as far as they can go.

All snug and warm he reclines with his head ...
Resting neatly on my best floral pillow!

He gets all huffy when I try to squeeze my way into bed,

And he looks at me disapprovingly without even lifting his head.

He glares at me with a woeful expression that's full of gloom,

When I tell him that his bed is actually out back in the laundry room.

I took him for a walk yesterday and tied him up while I went to the shops,

But when I returned he was off,
With a mouth full of the butcher's tastiest chops.

The butcher stood on the footpath angrily waving his fist,

As I ran past apologizing, I pulled out a $5 note...
Hoping that it would cover it.

Now Skinny Jim stays at home, he cannot come to town,

The shop owners watch out for him, 
And they glare accusingly at me with a frown.

At night he sits with me with his head resting upon my lap

And he looks at me with those soulful eyes and I think,
"What a sweet little chap".

But when I went to the kitchen to make my bedtime drink,

I had other words to describe him ..
For the pot roast that I had left defrosting,
Had vanished from the kitchen sink!

It had completely disappeared, plastic wrapping and all.

And Skinny Jim?
I glimpsed his tail disappearing down the hall.

And as I raced after him I noticed a letter on the floor.

It was a court summons from the butchers shop,
For unlawful entry and theft of half a dozen sirloin chops!!

And if that wasn’t bad enough for one day  …
We faced further charges for contaminating the meat,
That he’d ploughed through, in his hurry to get away!

So if you are alone and in need of some company.
I know a little guard dog,
That can be delivered to you .... immediately!
 

Latest Project

This is my latest craft project. I have completed 2 and the 3rd one is well on its way to completion..

THE KIWI WHO COULD FLY

An egg sat waiting,

It waited quietly in the moon light.

It suddenly began to jump.

And it jumped so high,
That it toppled out of the nest,

And into the night.

It hurtled through the air.

And sped toward the ground.
Where it landed with an oomph!
A winded kind of sound.

The egg cracked open.

And a scrawny chick popped out.
His brothers could only stare,  
As it brazenly strutted all about.

They’d never seen such a thing.

You're scrawny and skinny, they said,
And your feathers!
You haven't any feathers on your head!

The little chick jumped up.

He didn’t like what they said.

He did have feathers.

It's just they were smaller than theirs.

They laughed at him and ran off into the night.
"We're off to search for food," they cried,
"You can come along if you like".

He followed and watched in horror,

As they hunted for grubs and worms.
Squishy and big or crunchy and small.
They greedily scoffed them all.

A noise suddenly broke the silence,

And his brothers rushed off in fright,
For something was lurking there,
Waiting in the night.

Now he was frightened too.

And when two glistening eyes appeared,
He ran and flapped his wings,
And before he knew it  ...

His feet were in the air.

He soared into the sky.   
And realised with surprise,
That he wasn't just a kiwi.
He was a kiwi ... that could FLY!

A little tui had been watching.

And she called to out to him,
"Go down to the lake kiwi,
There's something you should see."

He flew to the waters edge.

Just as she'd said.
And when he looked in ...
A bird stared back at him instead.

He looked once more,

But that bird continued to stare.
And suddenly he understood,
What that bird was doing there.


He laughed his warbly laugh,
And looked over at the little tui with a grin.
For he knew who it was,
That stared back at him.

He left the waters edge,

And joined the little tui in the tree.
You're not a kiwi, she said.
You're a tui.

A magnificent tui! ...  
Just like me.

The small things in life .....

The Umbrella 

My husband said, "Take an umbrella, they've got some we can use."

So we went down to the beach, cause that's what we like to do.

It was quite drizzly and wet along the beach that day,

And to keep from getting soaked,

We took the umbrellas to keep the moisture at bay.

 

We ambled along the beach and let the sand run between our toes.

Stretching our legs and waiting for cocktail hour, I suppose.

"Ahoy there!" A man on the beach called out. "You two, stop there!

There's a helicopter coming in very soon,

And it's going to land right on the beach over here!"

 

We watched with interest to see how this would unfold.

And we stood at a distance, just as we were told.

Closer it loomed, like a black hawk hovering in the sky.

My husband called out, "Make sure you hold onto your umbrella,

Or it will take off in the blink of an eye."

 

With two hands, I clenched my umbrella tight.

For he'd had experience with these things,

And I knew he was right.

He said, "when that helicopter comes down to land,

It's going to kick up a whirlwind and a blistering blast of sand.

 

At the last minute as the helicopter came in to land,

He turned his back against that sandy blast.

While I battled the gust as it blew on past.

The size of the squall caught us quite unprepared,

And the umbrella caught the worst of it just as he'd feared.

 

It had turned inside out in the blink of an eye, just as he'd said.

But one took the blast and the other ....

Was miraculously spared!

He stood there all forlorn with metal spikes exposed.

As he desperately tried to ram it right side in,

Thinking he could fix it I suppose.

 

I laughed at our hilarious predicament..

For that umbrella was permanently buckled and bent.

He tried to straighten it with such a delicate gentleness.

But that umbrella was done for.

It was a helluva mess.

 

Laughter bubbled up and I could not hold it at bay.

Especially when I saw his expression.

As he gloomily frowned at me with dismay.

He hurriedly tried to bash it into some sort of shape.

Until finally he gave up and we scurried off to make a hasty escape.

 

Now for all the advice that he’d dispensed that day with worldly wisdom
He should've listen to himself, before he became the very next victim.
For the umbrella that took the brunt of the blast that day?

Was not mine ....  and his?

Can be located jammed in a bin he found along the way!

Happy Faces

There is always something in the Autumn garden to make you smile .. and today it is these handsome specimens. You can tell that they are enjoying the cooler weather even if we aren't! .. :-)

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